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Day 4I Am Undone Saturday, February 17, 2018
And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.” Isaiah 6:8
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Devotional:
Aren’t they beautiful words? Heroic, godly - the expression of a true Christian heart. Isn’t that where we want to be? Be the hands and feet of Jesus, go forth and serve with all meekness and gentleness of heart.
But, that’s not the beginning of the Christian story, my friend. But, it is the happy ending. For the beginning we have to go up a few lines in this chapter of Isaiah.
And, I am going to tell you right now, it is not pretty. It is uncomfortable. It is honest, raw, and emotional, and brutal. And it is beautiful.
The story begins with the Lord, sitting on his throne, his robe filling the temple, seraphim calling,
….“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!” ...
And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: “Woe is me! For I am undone; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!” Isaiah 6:3-5
The most terrifying and perfect moment of my life was when God opened my eyes and let me see my horrid, wretched sin - the day I placed my entire broken self at the feet of Jesus’ blazing iridescent glory. He took me by surprise, when He asked for all of it, all that I had wanted to just leave behind. But, He insisted. And He promised He would love me. Through it all. He promised He would never leave me. He promised I was His own. And then, I believed.
Lying in the top bunk at the homeless shelter, dashed to pieces and alone, I said, OK.
OK....Exhausted and numb, I gave it all. I flung the prison doors open wide, and I laid still and waited in terror. And He brought them out one at a time. And I screamed silently NO! And He took my face and made me look. And He brought them out: the hurts, the damage, the lies, the betrayals, the lusts, the thieving, the pride, the jealousies, the toxic words, the crying loved ones, promises not kept, deeds to never be undone. And I became Undone.
I cringed and writhed and loathed and silent screams filled the air.
One by one as they slowly moved by, they went up in a vapor, a smell of sulphur,
a sense of heat...One by one, they disappeared.
He became more and more beautiful the further we went on. This parade of ugliness and failure and rot I had held so tightly. As it rolled by, the uglier my sin became, and the more inexpressibly beautiful my Savior appeared. I could barely look at Him, His brilliance and beauty were almost too resplendent to behold… The seraphim covered their eyes with their wings. I understood why now.
When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord. Luke 5:8
With Shepherd gentleness, Jesus took my hands away from my tear-stained face, turned me again
To the scene...pointing purposefully, He softly said, “Paid.”
One at a time, as each deed, each crime, each wasted moment, each lie rolled by,
He softly uttered, “Paid,” “Paid.” “Paid.”
Perfect submission, all is at rest...I in my Savior am happy and blessed
In that raw and terrifying hour, as I became inescapably Undone, my Jesus became irreversibly mine.
It was the most divine moment of my life. …It is well, it is well with my soul…
But, that’s not the beginning of the Christian story, my friend. But, it is the happy ending. For the beginning we have to go up a few lines in this chapter of Isaiah.
And, I am going to tell you right now, it is not pretty. It is uncomfortable. It is honest, raw, and emotional, and brutal. And it is beautiful.
The story begins with the Lord, sitting on his throne, his robe filling the temple, seraphim calling,
….“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!” ...
And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: “Woe is me! For I am undone; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!” Isaiah 6:3-5
The most terrifying and perfect moment of my life was when God opened my eyes and let me see my horrid, wretched sin - the day I placed my entire broken self at the feet of Jesus’ blazing iridescent glory. He took me by surprise, when He asked for all of it, all that I had wanted to just leave behind. But, He insisted. And He promised He would love me. Through it all. He promised He would never leave me. He promised I was His own. And then, I believed.
Lying in the top bunk at the homeless shelter, dashed to pieces and alone, I said, OK.
OK....Exhausted and numb, I gave it all. I flung the prison doors open wide, and I laid still and waited in terror. And He brought them out one at a time. And I screamed silently NO! And He took my face and made me look. And He brought them out: the hurts, the damage, the lies, the betrayals, the lusts, the thieving, the pride, the jealousies, the toxic words, the crying loved ones, promises not kept, deeds to never be undone. And I became Undone.
I cringed and writhed and loathed and silent screams filled the air.
One by one as they slowly moved by, they went up in a vapor, a smell of sulphur,
a sense of heat...One by one, they disappeared.
He became more and more beautiful the further we went on. This parade of ugliness and failure and rot I had held so tightly. As it rolled by, the uglier my sin became, and the more inexpressibly beautiful my Savior appeared. I could barely look at Him, His brilliance and beauty were almost too resplendent to behold… The seraphim covered their eyes with their wings. I understood why now.
When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord. Luke 5:8
With Shepherd gentleness, Jesus took my hands away from my tear-stained face, turned me again
To the scene...pointing purposefully, He softly said, “Paid.”
One at a time, as each deed, each crime, each wasted moment, each lie rolled by,
He softly uttered, “Paid,” “Paid.” “Paid.”
Perfect submission, all is at rest...I in my Savior am happy and blessed
In that raw and terrifying hour, as I became inescapably Undone, my Jesus became irreversibly mine.
It was the most divine moment of my life. …It is well, it is well with my soul…
Prayer: |
Lord God, I pray that I would see the sacrifice made for me and understand clearly why it was made. Show me your great love as I humble myself and experience healing.
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Song/Hymn: |